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Three homosexuals tell their stories

By Josephine Wong

personalities, different exp- eriences and different back- grounds, but one thing in common binds them closely together.

Mr. Jimmy Kwok Chi Kuen, 24, works in a television station. He has a strong body. He wears a cap and earrings. He speaks critically.

Mr. Gary Lam Tsz Kin, 28, works in a garment company. He likes to take part in voluntary work. He plays drama. He is tall and has a moustache. He speaks very little.

Jo (not her real name), 20, is a student who is now preparing for the Hong Kong Advanced Level Examination. She is good at playing violin and guitar. She loves band music. She has strong views.

It is their sexual orientation that binds them together. However, their choice segregates them from society where hetero-sexuals are the majority. In Hong Kong, though homosexuality has not yet been “legalized”, it is no longer considered a crime or a disease.

According to Dr. Lee Sing, a senior lecturer in the Department of Psychiatry at The Chinese University of Hong Kong, some homosexuals have problems of mental disorder. However, this is not attributed to their sexual orientation, but to the pressures and problems they encounter in daily lives.

As the minority group, homosexuals face tremendous pressure. The greatest pressure does not come from society or their friends, but from themselves and their families.

Whether to behave honestly to oneself or to conform to social norms is always the dilemma of a homosexual.

Jimmy, Gary and Jo recognized that they were homosexuals when they were children.

“When I realized I was a gay, I accepted it and behaved naturally. I didn’t cheat myself,” Gary said.

“If you don’t accept yourself, no one will accept you,” Jo said confidently. “You are living for yourself, not for others,” she said.

Family is the main source of pressure. Jimmy, Gary and Jo all have not told their parents about their sexual choice.

Jo predicts that her parents would not accept her and may feel very sorry for her.

Gary did not tell his parents directly. He thinks they would not approve of what he is doing.

Jimmy is more fortunate as he has support of his family. His mother did not blame him when she learned that he was a gay. She let him choose his own way of life.

Though people in Hong Kong are developing a more liberal attitude towards homosexuals, prejudice and discrimination are still present.

Jo said, “I will not tell my colleagues that I’m a lesbian. I want to protect myself. I don’t want to put my job at risk in such a competitive society.”

However, most col-leagues of Jimmy and Gary know they are homo-sexuals. They do not tell them directly, but others discover it later when they are working together.

Gary said, “We are always discriminated against by others. We always become the focus of attention of others’ gossip. What’s more, we don’t have the right to apply for public housing, to get married or to adopt children.”

Jimmy recalled, “Once, when two ‘sisters’ and I were talking in the MTR (Mass Transit Railway), two women stared at us and started to gossip. Yet, we didn’t have bad feelings. We turned towards them and let them ‘examine’ us. Then they realized they were wrong and got out of the compartment very quickly.

“When you have confidence in yourself and don’t care about how others look at you, you will fear nothing.”

Jimmy added, “When I saw a boy and a girl kissing inside the MTR compartment, I had ill feelings, but everyone just took it naturally. But when two boys are holding hands or hugging each other, why should they be scolded?

“Love between homosexuals is just the same as that between heterosexuals. I once dated a girl. The feeling was more or less the same as that of dating a man. There was no big difference, really.”

Jo said, “I walk with my lover separately in public, but we do hold hands when we like to.”

“Gay louh”, “cam”, “les”, “tomboy”, “queer”, “tong zhi”, “straight” are not new terms. These words connote sin, sickness, abnormal behaviour, shame and dirtiness.

Both Jimmy and Gary criticized the way mass media portray homosexuals. They said the media always magnify the negative aspects. Jo added, in the case of movies, that this is because film producers want to use gays as gimmicks to attract audiences.

They said people know only the stereotypes, but can never perceive the whole picture of homosexuality from a correct and objective perspective.

Jimmy pointed out, “Not all gays like to beat up women, or dress and behave like women. Not all gays have AIDS, or like to play SM (sadomasochism). The world of homosexuals is not much different from the heterosexual one.”

In China, homosexuality is still against the law today and is considered a crime. After 1997, the legality of homosexuality remains an unknown to Hong Kong homosexuals. Gary said, “I’ve heard from my friends that if we don’t participate in political affairs, we will not get into trouble.”

In recent years, homosexual activities seem to have emerged from underground. Many societies such as the Ten Percent Club and Horizons provide guidance and help to homosexuals.

Mr. Lam of the Chinese University said homosexual movements seems to have slowed down in the last two years. Not much progress has been made. Besides, it’s hard to unite all the forces.

“Not many people are willing to speak up, especially lesbians.”

Jo added that there are many lesbians, but they are not very active or open.

Now, Gary, Jimmy and Jo are all running on the same track. The road may be tough. However, they have chosen to run this route bravely and without regret.

March 1996