People

Jacqueline Bara, a 19-year-old, is one of those city-bred teenage girls people see on the streets. She wears trendy stuff. She listens to rock 'n' roll. She is fun-loving, playful, and easy to be with. But there is a difference — she has a baby.

Having fed her 3-month-old baby boy, Martin, Jacqueline tenderly patted him on the back and cradled him to sleep.

For most of the time, she and her baby stay in a small apartment that belongs to her sister's boyfriend.

During her school days, she was restless and disobedient. She always challenged her teachers' capacity for tolerance.

After she left school at Form 4, she was a waitress in a restaurant, where she met her ex-boyfriend, the baby's father.

Martin has never seen his Chinese father.

According to Jacqueline, he has never asked about his own child, and he even denies that Martin is his son.

"He called his son a bastard. What a jerk!"

Jacqueline, though she has tried to get over him, could hardly restrain her anger.

Like most teenage mothers, Jacqueline was unprepared when the news that she was pregnant suddenly hit her.

"I was 18 at that time," she recalled.

"When the news first came into my head, I was flustered. It was really out of the blue."

Due to a false report and the lack of signs, Jacqueline did not realize that she had been pregnant until Martin kicked inside her womb.

She thought about abortion. However, 5 months already had passed, so abortion was considered highly dangerous by then.

She decided to keep the baby.

"There's much to be considered when giving birth to a baby," said she.

Jacqueline went silent for a moment when she talked about abortion.

Said she: "Abortion is too cruel. No way could I be so cold-blooded as to kill my baby."

Jacqueline now lives on social assistance.

The baby takes most of her time. She cannot hang out with her friends.

When depressed, she likes to write down her feelings in a notebook. Inside are poems, lyrics and prose expressing Jacqueline's feelings and thoughts.

"I do receive negative responses from others. My mom is extremely unhappy with the whole thing.

"Well, as for my dad, he's indifferent," said she.

Jacqueline is not well accepted by some people who attend her Sikh temple.

Many Indians believe in Sikhism, in which pre-marital sex is not allowed.

Despite unfriendly attitudes she has experienced, Jacqueline makes her own way though life and tries to ignore people who disapprove of her lifestyle.

Before Martin was born, Jacqueline sought help from volunteer organizations as well as social workers.

Most of the people persuaded Jacqueline to let another family adopt her child.

She didn't give it a thought, however.

Martin is too small to ask about his father, but Jacqueline does not want to keep it a secret.

"If Martin asks about his father one day, I will tell him the truth. No matter if he likes it or not, it's the truth," she said firmly.

After Martin was born was the hardest time. Jacqueline experienced postnatal depression.

She remembered that there were sudden emotional fluctuations. She would easily get extremely frustrated.

Friends and family usually became the targets of her emotions.

But the baby was never one of them.

Traditional Indian families value males more than females. The Bara family is no exception.

Jacqueline's parents spoiled her brother. The Bara sisters, though they received less attention, are spiritually better connected.

There are always some admirers around Jacqueline. Yet, she does not seem moved.

In fact, Jacqueline's mother still worries about whether Jacqueline will find a man who would take care of her and her baby.

Said Jacqueline: "People's minds will change over time.

"They say that they don't mind even if I have a baby. However, they might change their minds later.

"Besides, I'm not very interested in romance at this moment," she said.

Actually, she finds herself pretty lucky, as her sister and friends are supportive.

Said she: "I got much support from my sister and my friends. They gave me strength when I was weak.

"Though my mom is still angry with me now, I believe she will accept me and Martin as time goes by."

She hoped that she could find a job. But it would not happen until she gains her mother's acceptance, as she needs her mother to take care of her baby.

The other wish is that Martin could become a healthy, happy boy.

"I hope that you will not become too naughty when grown up.

"Can you hear me, darling?" She asked with smile.

Jacqueline, who was a wild girl only yesterday, is now a mature young woman.

She said, "I love and cherish myself more.

"In the past, I just acted in ways without much thinking.

"Now, I learn to be more responsible."

Looking tenderly at the baby, she said, "The baby fills my life with hopes. I am beginning to think about my future seriously."