{"id":8024,"date":"2015-11-17T14:53:03","date_gmt":"2015-11-17T06:53:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/?p=8024"},"modified":"2022-04-04T16:09:18","modified_gmt":"2022-04-04T08:09:18","slug":"young-people-changing-idea-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/2015\/11\/young-people-changing-idea-family\/","title":{"rendered":"We are Family"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hong Kong\u2019s politically aware millennials are challenging the traditional idea of family<\/strong><\/p>\n

By Kelly Wong & Achlys Xi<\/strong><\/p>\n

Studying in her final year at university, 22-year-old Queenie Chung Xiao-qing has a promising future ahead of her. It is a future she envisages with a husband and children. \u201cI want to get married at 26, the earlier the better\u2026and give birth before 30, to maybe at least one or two children,\u201d she says, wide-eyed with excitement. \u201cHaving only one child could be rather boring. Two kids seem much better \u2013 perhaps a boy and a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

But as she continues, and she begins to consider the difficulties she may have to face raising a family in Hong Kong, her excitement dims. Even before the 79-day Occupy Movement began, the city had become increasingly polarised, with deep rifts between generations and within families over Hong Kong\u2019s political future and social and cultural values. This has, to varying degrees, affected young people\u2019s views about family \u2013 what the concept means, their ties with their families and their desire to form one of their own.<\/p>\n

For Chung, Hong Kong\u2019s political situation is a disincentive for her to start a family. \u201cCurrently [in Hong Kong] the idea of \u2018One Country\u2019 has predominated over the idea of \u2018Two Systems\u2019, which makes me worry [about communism and Hong Kong\u2019s future].\u201d<\/p>\n

Chung was an active participant in local politics, being a former convener of Scholarism and a member of the Kwu Tung North Development Concern Group.<\/p>\n

\"Queenie
Queenie Chung Xiao-qing<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

She is majoring in Chinese language studies and education, and is also worried about the quality of education for her future child. \u201cI will definitely not [send my child into] mainstream schools. As I also study education, I find [the pressure at mainstream schools] hard to withstand. International schools would be the only choice, but then the cost might be out of reach.\u201d<\/p>\n

At home, Chung describes her relationship with her family as so-so. \u201cMy parents embrace the traditional idea of \u2018valuing the sons more than the daughters\u2019 and always pay more attention to my younger brother,\u201d she complains.<\/p>\n

Apart from their views on gender differences, Chung also has different political values to her parents. Although they are broadly supportive of democracy, Chung says her mother would have stopped her camping out on the streets during the Occupy Movement if she could because she thought \u201cother people will do it for you\u201d, whereas Chung says she believes that attaining true democracy requires people to make their own effort.<\/p>\n

She says she finds her parents\u2019 values and the way they handle differences disappointing, \u201cI am not asking that everyone has the same values in a family…I can accept differences, but my family cannot.\u201d<\/p>\n

She says her own relationship with her parents and a desire to do things differently has influenced her eagerness for early marriage. \u201cMy parents couldn\u2019t give me the happiness that I wanted. Therefore when forming my own family, I shall not repeat the same mistakes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chan Kin-man, associate professor of sociology at the Chinese University of Hong Kong and one of the co-founders of Occupy Central with Love and Peace, observes that this generation of young people faces more conflict with their families because of different political values. \u201cUnlike the previous generations, this generation of youth [born after the handover in 1997] no longer view Hong Kong as merely a labour market or a consumer market. They value Hong Kong as their home \u2013 thus their expectations [for Hong Kong\u2019s future] are also different.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chan says the Occupy Movement was a catalyst for worsening family relations. \u201cThese [conflicts between different values] have been accumulating. Beijing\u2019s increasingly tight grip on Hong Kong affairs since 2003 has made our society more divided politically. During the Occupy Movement, when the society was at its breaking point, intimate relations between many families, lovers and friends were greatly affected.\u201d<\/p>\n

He is currently conducting a study on how social movements influence family relationships. He says family is still important although most young people in this generation do not identify with the political values of their parents. \u201cFamily is still very important in Hong Kong as a Chinese society.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chan elaborates by describing a phenomenon that he has noticed in his sociology class. \u201cEvery year, I would ask them [students] to draw a picture that reflects the \u2018happiest moment of your life\u2019. Most of them ended up drawing moments they spent with their family, for instance having dinner together in front of television. Such emotional support is especially important, which explains why they treasure family a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Heily
Heily Wong Hei-lam<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Unlike Queenie Chung, 19-year-old Heily Wong Hei-lam has a happy home life. She is close to her parents and receives emotional support from them. Her political stance is also not as strong as Chung\u2019s.<\/p>\n

University freshman Wong says she does have arguments with her parents, usually over aspects of her personal life. \u201cThey often complain about me getting home late,\u201d she says. \u201cBut many of these conflicts are quickly resolved\u2026they [parents] are quite open to discussion.\u201d She thinks it is always important for her parents to express their understanding.<\/p>\n

Wong adds she usually avoids discussing politics at home to minimise conflicts and that sharing similar values with her family members helps her to build stronger emotional bonds with them. \u201cIf I had to prioritise the importance of my family and friends, family definitely comes first,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Wong says her parents have given her considerable freedom when it comes to how she wants to form her own family \u2013 they would accept cohabitation and children before marriage. \u201cA few of my relatives gave birth before getting married. My parents find that normal,\u201d she says. As for her own thoughts on marriage, Wong thinks it is optional as she is eager to date different men before settling down, and she is not concerned about the issue of whether she will have a child or not.<\/p>\n

Her views are not unusual. In a survey<\/a> of 346 people aged between 18 and 27, Varsity looked into the changing concept of family among this generation of Hong Kong youth. Compared with surveys conducted by other organisations in the past, we found marriage and having children have become less popular while various aspects of the traditional idea of family are being challenged.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A SURVEY ON FAMILY CONCEPT AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE IN HONG KONG<\/a>
\nCreate your own infographics<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Results showed that only half of the respondents say they intended to marry in the future, whereas a 2011 poll<\/a>\u00a0by the Family Planning Association of Hong Kong found nearly 60 per cent of respondents aged between 18 and 27 said they were intent on marriage.<\/p>\n

\"Fiona
Fiona Chow Tze-ching<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Varsity\u2019s poll also shows that only 47 per cent of respondents are willing to have children in the future. Among those who do want children, most would prefer to do so before they are 30. Nearly half of the respondents agreed the current political situation in Hong Kong has made them less willing to have children. In the Family Planning Association\u2019s 2011 survey of 1,223 people aged between 18 and 27 nearly 60 per cent of young people said they planned to have children.<\/p>\n

While fewer young people seem to be keen on getting married and having children, they attached great importance to friends. Half of the respondents thought family and friends were equally important, while nearly 60 per cent of the respondents accepted non-monogamous open relationships.<\/p>\n

The survey suggests young people have a broader concept of how a family can be formed which is less restricted to those related by blood and living under the same roof. This reflects the view of 20-year-old Fiona Chow Tze-ching. \u201cIf intimate friends [give me enough emotional support], they can be [my family] too,\u201d says Chow. \u201cGetting along well and having mutual understanding is crucial\u2026family love might occur among some of my closest friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chow also supports the idea of open relationships \u2013 namely having multiple relationships at the same time. She thinks the feeling of intimacy and \u201cliving in the moment\u201d overrides the traditional value of commitment within a family. To her, it is the degree of emotional support and intimacy between people that is most important. She believes the more effort you put into a relationship, the more intimacy you feel and the more likely it is that you will regard the other person as a family member.<\/p>\n

\"Elaine
Elaine Au Liu Suk-ching<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Elaine Au Liu Suk-ching, associate professor of the Department of Applied Social Sciences at the College of Liberal Arts and Social Science at the City University of Hong Kong has conducted extensive research on youth and their relationship with their families. She says the idea of family has evolved over time and the traditional concept of family currently faces an onslaught of challenges. Increased peer influence and the higher level of education among this generation of young people add to the pressure for a more open and fluid concept of family, says Au.<\/p>\n

\u201cSociety has been more open for discussion on these issues [on the changing concept of family]\u2026when I was at primary school, if my classmates\u2019 parents got a divorce, it was somehow a taboo to tell. And now it is open [for divorced couples] to tell people about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

How people think a family can be formed has also changed radically. \u201cFor example, when people talk about the definition and nature of family in the United States these days, those who are unmarried and live by themselves would disagree that they do not have a family. They would argue that they have pets as well as friends, who they feel intimate with. They feel like they have a home. It is therefore no longer appropriate to say that these people do not have a family.\u201d<\/p>\n

She also sees many possible family formations \u2013 between two men or two women, or even between a man and an object such as a piece of furniture as long as there is an intimate emotional bond there. \u201cWho knows what will be next?\u201d she muses.<\/p>\n

So, will the traditional concept of family breakdown in the face of these multiple interpretations of family? Au believes every development in the concept of family \u2013 be it pre-marital pregnancy, open relationships or even friends as family \u2013 does not change the fundamental basis of family, which is living collectively for survival.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur ancestors decided to live collectively, not individually, by forming families. We have lived collectively for survival throughout centuries. That will not be replaced over time.\u201d Every young generation introduces new ideas and behaviour to the notion of family but Au believes that, for now, intimate emotional ties will continue to be the most important factor for this generation of young people in forming their own families in the future.<\/p>\n

Edited by Thomas Chan<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some young Hongkongers have drastically different ideas of what a family is, compared to their parents — from open relationships and having children to treating their friends as family. A Varsity survey finds Hong Kong’s political woes have put some youngsters off from having children. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8029,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1940,388,7,1],"tags":[126,205,353,128,354,45],"class_list":["post-8024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-issue-137","category-november-2015-what-next-for-hong-kongs-youth","category-periscope","category-uncategorized","tag-family","tag-hong-kong","tag-marriage","tag-politics","tag-relationships","tag-youth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8024","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8024"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8024\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20868,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8024\/revisions\/20868"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8029"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/varsity.com.cuhk.edu.hk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}