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Happy sex education
Women’s attitudes towards sex have become more open over the years, but some deep-rooted traditional values still remain.
By Penelope Yau
In traditional Chinese culture, sex has always been a taboo that few would discuss openly. Even when it comes to sex education, the emphasis is often on helping students form “correct” attitudes and values towards sex, according to Lee Wai Yee.
Ms. Lee is the former president of the Association for the Advancement of Feminism.
“Many consider sex as something dirty and shameful. People seldom talk about sex seriously. That’s not a healthy trend.
“Sex is supposed to be something happy and enjoyable,” Ms. Lee said
In 2000, with the support of Leung Man Dao, head of Ngau Pang Sue Yuen, Ms. Lee started “Happy Sex Education”, which is a short course that focuses on teaching students practical skills in sex.
“We think the public doesn’t have sufficient knowledge of this matter,” said Tam Sik Mei, spokesperson of Ngau Pang Sue Yuen.
This is the third time Ngau Pang Sue Yuen has offered the course.
“The course has been reopened this year due to the popular demand,” said Ms. Tam.
This year, “Happy Sex Education” consisted of five sessions, with a two-hour session each week. The five classes covered topics such as skills in masturbation, fetish passion and “how to satisfy your boyfriend or girlfriend”.
According to Ms. Tam, people from different walks of society enrolled in the course, both men and women.
“Students attending the course are usually in their ’30s to ’40s.
“There were both heterosexuals and homosexuals,” said Ms. Lee.
Apart from teaching sex techniques, the other objective of the course is to change people’s traditional values towards sex.
Said Ms. Lee: “We want our students to confront sex with open-mindedness because sex is not something to be ashamed of.
“Most of all, we want them to come to enjoy the pleasure of sex.”
According to Ms. Lee, the classes were mostly lecture-based, with discussions, role plays, guest lectures and demonstrations.
“I tried to make the classes as lively as possible,” she said.
Ms. Lee said that students could benefit from the course in different ways, including better communication with their partners.
“A lot of people feel too shy to share their sexual desires with their partners. This can sometimes harm a relationship,” she said.
Another emphasis of the course is on preaching safe sex.
Ms. Lee was surprised by how few people know about safe sex. She was shocked to find out most of her students believed that using two condoms is safer than one, which is wrong.
Said she: “We often come to believe that men know a lot about sex. But that’s not always the case.
“When men talk about sex, they boast and they bluff.
“However when women talk about sex, they usually talk about it seriously.”
When asked about traditional sex education, Ms. Lee recalled a boy who shared an experience he had in school with her.
A nurse went to the boy’s school to talk about AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
“All she did was to show them slides and pictures of rotten flesh, saying that they’re the results of the diseases.
“But when the boys asked about how to prevent the diseases, she said the best way is ‘not doing it’.
“She even told the students that condoms are useless, and they would get the disease even if they used them.
“Think about it. She was using some terrifying pictures to warn children against having sex. What kind of sex education is this?
“It’s ridiculous,” she said, mockingly.
Added Ms. Lee: “Take our body as an example. We are taught to cover our breasts when they have grown.
“Many of us would feel embarrassed when our dress is stained with menstrual blood.
“We were taught to look at sex negatively, even if they are parts of our own bodies.”
She said that the responsibility of sex education often falls alone on teachers. That is very difficult, especially when different teachers have different morality and values.
“A lot of schools ask ethics or theology teachers to teach students about sex. It doesn’t work, of course.
“Many teachers, like many parents, are simply too reluctant to talk about sex.
“So how can you expect them to lead meaningful and serious discussions on sensitive topics like masturbation and homosexuality?
“More importantly, it’s not healthy to repress our sexual desires.
“Sex can also be pleasurable and healthy,” Ms. Lee said.
Women’s attitudes towards sex have become more open over the years, but some deep-rooted traditional values still remain, according to Ms. Lee and Prof. Angela Wong of the Department of Modern Languages and Intercultural Studies at The Chinese University of Hong Kong.
Said Prof. Wong: “The idea of women having sex for pleasure is becoming more acceptable nowadays.
“But still, very few choose to abandon their traditional roles as mothers and wives.
“There are women who do have casual relationships, but most of them fall into the traditional pattern of getting married and having children eventually.”
Ms. Lee agreed that many women are still very passive when it comes to sex.
“Most find that it’s weird for a woman to masturbate, while the idea of men masturbating is widely accepted.
“Few women will ever stand naked in front of the mirror to look at their own bodies.
“The prey-predator relationship still remains because many women are still happy to be the prey,” Ms. Lee said.
Promotion of alternative art
By Penelope Yau
Ngau Pang Sue Yuen, also known as the Cattle Depot College, was established
by Zuni Icosahedron in 2001, a Hong Kong based avant-garde cultural
collective, with the aim of promoting alternative art in the city.
Situated at To Kwa Wan’s one-time slaughterhouse, the red brick complex is home to many artists that were evicted from the Oil Street Artist Alliance.
Said Tam Sik Mei, spokesperson of Ngau Pang Sue Yuen: “The success at Oil Street proved to us that there is space for art to develop in Hong Kong. That’s why Ngau Pang exists.”
The college offers courses that explore a wide variety of subjects, from art to philosophy and politics to gender culture. This is because the “Ed Lab”, as the college is called, does not want to confine itself to art alone.
Many new courses have been added to the school’s new curriculum, including Lee Wai Yee’s “Happy Sex Education” and Leung Man Dao’s “Basic Law’s Basics – Article 23”.
The college continues to bring avant-garde to education as well as art.
Ngau Pang Sue Yuen in To Kwa Wan (Penelope Yau)