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Interview with Tsao Chip
Education the best way to shape a person’s character
Tsao Chip enjoys a high degree of independence
and privacy in life. (Courtesy of Tsao Chip)
By Kevin Mak
You hear him on radio. You see him on television. You read his thoughts in his books and col-umns. But Chinese news columnist Tsao Chip, 46, who has published nearly 20 books on politics and culture, is not concerned just about serious issues. Here, the man the public knows as Tao Kit talks to us about his love life.
Question:
Tell us your love stories. Maybe we can begin with your puppy love.
Answer: Ah. . . . Ha! It has been a long time. The first taste of love
was fresh and beautiful. I met my first dream girl in secondary school.
She was common, just like many others. Although she is less attractive
to me when I look back now, at that time I was crazy about her.
Q: What did you two do in your leisure time?
A: At that time, we were young and did not have much money. Our lives
were somehow boring, and, most importantly, unromantic. Our discussions
narrowly focused on the expectations of university life.
Little entertainment was available. Sometimes we went to the cinema.
Sometimes we rode the trams, from Wan Chai to Sai Wan, and took a similar
track back.
Q: What happened when you went to study in England?
A: We kept in touch, by phone and by writing letters. Sometimes she
visited me. But, finally, when I was studying for the GCE Advanced Level
Examinations, she was suddenly determined to leave me. At first I thought
it was just one of the many jokes we used to have. But she gave me a
letter that confirmed her leaving. I was so shocked, because I believed
she was the one.
Q: Why
did she leave you?
A: In fact, I was not the kind of man she wanted. What she expected
of me was to be completely settled down before she would be with me.
In her eyes, it was not something an ordinary English literature student
could afford, which was pretty true. However, at that time, I was still
too immature to read her mind and realize the differences in our tastes
and views.
She once asked me about my future plans. Knowing I was interested in
arts, she said, “What? What is the use of studying arts? What
do you suppose you’ll be? A teacher?”
It was insulting, but I misinterpreted that as her sincere expectations
of me.
Q: What
were your love experiences in England like?
A: Studying English Literature at the University of Warwick was not
easy.
In the first year, I passed all the papers because I worked hard, but
unluckily I was working so hard that I let many chances pass me by as
well.
I remember that I was once invited by a friend to her house during Easter,
when her parents were out for the holidays. In the 2 days, we had no
close contact. I behaved like a gentleman, and she was a fine lady.
I really regretted being that innocent.
Q: Was there any difference when you got along with the girls there
compared with those in Hong Kong?
A: There were great differences. When dating girls in Hong Kong, everything
was simple.
Boys need not plan where to go, what to eat and what to talk about.
But it is totally different getting along with British girls.
The most important mission for boys was to give girls the feeling of
being well looked after.
Usually, I had to decide where to go beforehand and design an evening
program.
When deciding where to eat, the atmosphere of the restaurant came first.
Drinks came second, and food came third.
I also had to know the menu well. Some knowledge of wine was also required.
Last but not least, I would make sure I knew enough about the local
culture, such as books, pop music, clothing and politics. For example,
I talked about some recent top selling books, and recommended some.
Q: How
did you meet your wife?
A: I met my wife when I was working at the British Broadcasting Corporation,
just half a year before I went back to Hong Kong.
At that time she was studying mathematics at the University of London.
By chance, I noticed her when she visited the workplace of the corporation.
We kept in touch not only in England, but also when we were both back
in Hong Kong.
Q:Could you tell us more about your wife?
A: We are the same kind of people ? smart, critical and humorous. Although
she is younger than me by about 10 years, we have no generation gap.
Q: How would you describe your relationship with your wife?
A: Although we have different hobbies, we live together harmoniously.
In addition, we believe in “one family, two systems”.
We enjoy a high degree of independence that permits us to have sufficiently
private lives.
So, we are not staying too close, but still close enough to love, respect
and understand each other.
Q: What do you do when you quarrel with your wife?
A: Any quarrels that happen between us are only due to sudden emotional
disturbances. Both of us are well educated, so basically we are rational.
We always remember the goodness of the partner.
Most importantly, we understand that we need each other. Therefore,
we usually return to normal within 1 or 2 hours.
Q: It seems that education plays a vital role in maintaining your relationship
with your wife. Do you have any advice for young couples?
A: I suggest they learn to control their temper and think about their
children.
If they have spare time, reading a wide range of books may help.
After all, education is the best way to shape a person’s character
and realize the suggestions I made above.
Tsao Chip and his wife live harmoniously and
believe in “one family, two systems”.
(Courtesy of Tsao Chip )