"You matter because you are you. You matter to the last moment of your life, and we will do all we can to help you die peacefully, but also to live until you die." This is the motto of Bradbury Hospice. It is unique in providing only hospice services on a volunteer basis---and only to advanced cancer patients.

In Hong Kong, most hospice care is devoted to advanced cancer patients. Hospice care relieves physical pain and emotional turmoil of the terminally ill, and it provides support to both the patients and their families.

Miss Wendy Lai, a registered nurse in Our Lady of Mary Knoll Hospital, said hospice care is quite different from the work usually associated with a nurse:

"Hospice care differs from normal care in that we give complete therapy to the physical and psychological pains of the patients, as well as their family members. Our team not only provides hospice care in the hospital, but also, from time to time, pays home visits to those patients who have a more stable physical condition and can stay at home. We also try to relieve the risk clients---relatives of the patients who are most likely to be affected in this grievous period," said she.

Having been a nurse for eight years, Miss Lai joined the hospice team seven months ago. "I have experienced myself truly as a nurse for the first time in these months. Usually, we just take care of the physical needs of the patients and no more. But here, we become friends and almost their family members. We often talk with the patients and their families. In fact, our daily work consists of many such conversations and chats," she said.

In her work, Miss Lai learned not to be too involved and emotional. To be patient and considerate is equally important. "We have to be very patient. We try to put ourselves in their (the patients') positions, understand their needs and try to satisfy them," said Miss Lai. "Sometimes, they simply want to go back home. It just makes my head ache, as we need to consider many constraints, like the physical condition of the patients."

Bradbury Hospice provides services to advanced cancer patients.

Miss May Wong, a nursing officer at Bradbury Hospice, said her job makes her less stubborn about trivial matters in daily life. She recalled one encounter with a young patient:

"He was only about 20 and had great pain in his spinal chord. When he entered the hospital, his two legs had already been paralysed. He was among the unfortunate 5 percent of cases where medicine didn't work. He was in great pain but he was still eager to fight for his life. We all wanted to relieve his pain but we couldn't. What we could do is to hold his hand and be with him beside his bed in turn overnight. Later in the morning, his situation seemed to be under control. But three days later, he died. I believe that there is a kind of inner strength in people which fosters hope in them. Hence, we concentrate on life rather than death, or the process to death. We want to give the patients hope and motivation to live," said Miss Wong.

Emotional support for the patients, therefore, is especially important. "Physical pain is difficult to stand, but the loneliness, uncertainty and anxiety in facing death are also hard for the patients. So, to be a companion of the patients gives strength to them to cope with death," said Miss Wong.

The relationship between nurses and patients becomes one of companionship, full of respect and trust. Yet there are also cases in which the patients are demanding and manipulative. They reject the help of nurses and sometimes anger them. When facing such patients, Miss Wong said nurses do not spoil them. "It is a kind of mutual respect. We will try to talk to them and make them understand," she said.

Patients enjoy last months of peace in Bradbury Hospice.

At present, Bradbury Hospice is the only volunteer organization providing hospice care in Hong Kong. With their limited resources, existing hospice services do not meet all the needs of the Territory's terminally ill. "We believe that other terminally ill patients need the same care and support, though we understand there are both limited financial and human resources," said Miss Lai. With the running expenses totally coming from donations, Bradbury Hospice has been urging the government to subsidize its service. So far there has been no response from the government.

Mr. Yeung Ying Nam discovered that he had advanced stomach cancer 13 months ago. Several doctors told him he would die in three months if he did not immediately have an operation to remove 80 percent of his stomach.

He ignored the advice, turned to herbal medicine---and death did not come as predicted. "I did not receive any medical treatment from the hospital. Isn't it ridiculous to cut away 80 percent of the stomach? How could I survive with such a small stomach? Although doctors told me it would be all right, I did not think so. People do not get well after this operation (stomach surgery), and many of them have suffered side effects of the treatment, like weight loss and losing their hair. My cousin suffered from blood cancer, and his two legs had to be cut off. He got better for awhile, but eventually he died. He was only 17 then," said Mr. Yeung.

Prior to his cancer, Mr. Yeung had had stomach problems for a long time, but he discovered the cancer only on a New Year's Eve a little more than a year ago. On that night, he felt much pain in his stomach, and he was persuaded by his son to go to a hospital.

"My son was with me on the day of the medical report, but later he received a call from his office and had to leave me alone. The doctor asked where my family members were and who was going to get the results (of the examination) I told the doctor I was. There was nothing to be afraid of. The doctor said I had seven 1- to 3-centimeter long cancer tumors in my stomach. I didn't believe it. I was so healthy. Then I consulted several doctors, but they all gave me the same answer. One private doctor even phoned me one morning---he could not wait for my return to his office---and said I was in a very dangerous state and should get an operation as quick as possible," said Mr. Yeung.

He decided against an operation---and tried Chinese herbs instead. "I am a consumer, and I can make my own choices," he asserted.

Mr. Yeung went to a Chinese herbalist twice a week. He is still going once a week now. These days he eats less and is almost on a vegetarian diet. Otherwise he eats, sleeps, and lives as an ordinary retired person. "I am quite lucky, as I can catch live frogs in Ping Chau as part of my medical treatment, but these are not usually available in the city," he said.

Mr. Yeung is now in stable condition. Three weeks before this interview, he went for an X-ray. The report said that the tumors are still there and advised him to cut half of the stomach.

Yet Mr. Yeung is very confident in his health. "Afraid? I am at my normal weight now, and I am over 60. It's all right. I believe that I am healthy. No one knows that I am a patient and that I have cancer. You can visit me on Ping Chau. It's so beautiful. . . ," Mr. Yeung said.