"The mentally disabled have physical and psychological needs and should enjoy social life as we do," said Miss Marian Cheung Ngai Mei Yuk, supervisor in the Rehabilitation Division of St. James' Settlement.
Mr. Stephen Chan Siu Yuen agreed. He is the executive director of the Society of Homes for the Handicapped. "We have no reason to oppose to marriages between mentally disabled people. Instead, we should regard it as a good learning experience. They also have their needs. As long as they find each other suitable, we cannot prevent them from getting married," he said. Mr. Chan added that if the mentally handicapped know what they are doing, his organization will offer assistance.
Meanwhile, Mr. William Chang Kwong Chi, chairman of the Hong Kong Joint Council of Parents of the Mentally Handicapped, echoed Mr. Chan's view. "The mildly and moderately handicapped can get married, but counselling and continuous family education are necessary," Mr. Chang said.
Commenting on government policy, Mr. Chan said that the highest goal of the government is to equip the mentally disabled with vocational skills, enhance their ability to live independently, and provide more job opportunities.
In spite of the government's efforts, there are still many unresolved problems, such as dating, marriage and having children. "The rehabilitation services should go further to cover aspects other than employment," he said. Some authorities do not think the mentally disabled should get married, however. Marriage requires much time and effort, as it involves a delicate relationship with another human being.
Social worker lecturer Mrs.Joyce Lai
"If a person does not have the ability to care for himself, that person really cannot go into that kind of relationship," said Mrs. Joyce Lai, lecturer in the Social Work Department of The Chinese University of Hong Kong. She said marriage is therefore inappropriate for severely handicapped people.
Mrs. Lai agreed that the mentally handicapped are entitled to get married. However, they need to study the matter carefully to figure out how they can support and love each other over years to come.
Mrs. Marian Cheung said, "Besides, the couple themselves have to know what marriage really means and how they can support the family. "What I mean is that they have to think about not only financial matters, but also about how they can arrange everything and work things out. Of course, the ultimate point they have to make sure of is that they really love each other," she said.
Mr. Chang of the Joint Council said it is crucial for both the husband and wife to have jobs to sustain a family in Hong Kong. Since mentally disabled couples seldom have adequate income, the families of mentally disabled couples probably should help out with financial matters.
However, most parents of the mentally disabled, especially those of the mildly mentally handicapped, seldom help, and they do not take care of their children after they get married. "That's why we have to persuade those parents to assist their children even after they have got a job or formed their own families," said Mr. Chang.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Cheung pointed out that nowadays parents of the mentally disabled perceive things in a broader perspective. "They realize marriage is sometimes not the best choice for their children. And they worry that their children will be cheated," she said.
While marriage is a big choice among the mentally disabled, pregnancy is another issue that mentally disabled couples may encounter. Mrs. Lai said contraception among mentally disabled couples should be emphasized. "A marriage needs time to settle down. For mentally handicapped people, it takes even a longer time. Therefore, contraception for these couples is a must," she said.
In view of a recent tragedy in which a mildly mentally disabled mother drowned her own daughter, Mrs. Cheung said it may not be appropriate for the mentally disabled to bear children in every case. "They (mentally disabled people) do love and take care of their children, but sometimes they just do not know how. The mentally handicapped parents love their children so much that they do not eat or wear enough themselves so as to satisfy their children's needs," she said.
Mr. William Chang Kwong Chi
Mr. Chang said having children is a human right, but family planning tailored especially for the mentally retarded is urgently needed. He complained that the present rehabilitation services always neglect issues of marriage and pregnancy. "The government suggests that mentally disabled should seek advices from the Family Planning Association. But the services provided there are always too general, not pinpointed specifically to the mentally disabled. Because of their special needs, tailor-made services should be offered to them," said Mr. Chang.
Said Mrs. Lai: "Being a civilized society, Hong Kong should provide sufficient backup services and counselling to unfortunates." Basic rehabilitation services may be insufficient, however. According to a Green Paper from a working committee on rehabilitation policies, the services provided by the government include medical rehabilitation, employment opportunities, special training and residential facilities. However, there is still a substantial shortfall and a considerable amount of the mentally disabled are still in need. "My son waited for seven years---from 1985 to 1992---to get a hostel place," said Mr. Chang, whose son is severely mentally handicapped.
"Due to the limited resources, a lot of services cannot be provided, and a long waiting list of needy people exists. I would like to see the government allocate more resources to enhance the welfare of the mentally handicapped," said Mrs. Cheung.