Lonely hearts
Lonely hearts
More and more people are staying single
By Becky Chu
Figures from the Census and Statistics Department reveal that the average age of marriage for both sexes in Hong Kong has gradually increased in the past decade. In 1994, the figures stood at 29.9 for men and 26.5 for women.
The figures in Hong Kong are even higher than they are in the United States, where people experiment freely with alternative lifestyles. In the U.S. in 1994, the average age for men to marry was 26.7, and for women it was 24.5.
Being single thus seems to have become a trend among Hong Kong people.
Sandy (not her real name) is 28. She is in charge of an elderly social centre. “I hope for a harmonious family life with some kids and a nice husband,” she said. “But up to now, I haven’t met anyone who can be my lifelong companion.”
Mr. Chris Chow, a 38-year-old broker, is in the same boat.
Though having got use to being a singleton already, Mr. Chow would prefer to get married.
To singles, a limited social circle is usually an obstacle for finding mates.
Sandy, who spends most of her time with elderly people and three female colleagues, finds there is limited chance to know people of the opposite sex.
“Moreover, I am not sociable. I seldom attend gatherings arranged by my former classmates. So I can only make a few friends,” said she.
However, Mr. Chow holds a different view.
“Women’s economic situations are much higher than before. They have become more independent and demanding. These results in difficulty for choosing their male companions,” Mr. Chow said.
Above: The average marriage of both sexes has been increasing
In fact, singletons have different feelings about their single status.
Sandy said, “I feel a bit lonely, especially when I see couples.
“Besides, I begin to worry about my (prospects for) marriage.
“Marriage is an indispensable stage in life to me. I feel as though I am deviating from the general public without it.”
Miss Viola Cheung, a 33-year-old clerk, also worries about marriage.
“It is much better to have a companion to depend on and to accompany when going places. I really don’t want to be single forever,” said Miss Cheung.
Nevertheless, there was a change in her feelings from her 20s to 30s.
Said she: “I was more worried about it when I was in my late 20s. But now I try to enjoy the freedom of being single, because I know I can do nothing but just wait.”
To Mr. Chow, who likes travelling and wants to put more effort into his career, his singleton status gives him a lot of freedom.
For singletons, friends and parents always show great concern.
Sandy and Miss Cheung both have experienced attempts at matchmaking by friends or parents.
Sandy initially welcomed this.
However, matchmakers may arrange a meeting rather suddenly, and she feels shy to accept such meetings on the spot.
Therefore, she has not yet met anyone through a matchmaker.
Said Sandy: “As time goes by, I would like to have more tries.”
However, an unhappy experience scared Miss Cheung away from matchmakers. In order not to let her mother down, she once promised to date a boy introduced by a matchmaker.
“We both were embarrassed and had nothing to talk to each other. The date ended up in total unhappiness,” Miss Cheung recalled.
Mr. Chow on the other hand insists on natural development in love affairs. He is strongly against matchmaking.
For Sandy, the upper age limit for marriage is 35. Facing this limitation, she has thought of finding her partner by widening her social circle. She even calls a phone-in radio programme for singles.
Similarly, Miss Cheung said, “Women over 30 or 40 who are still single must be quite lonely.
“If I were in that situation, perhaps I would get married to someone even if I don’t love him.”
|
Matchmakers Finding a mate By Becky Chu W ith increasing openness of people’s minds towards matchmaking services, marriage bureaus are welcomed by singles in Hong Kong. According to representatives of several matchmaking agencies, most clients are good looking, well educated and have high incomes. Mr. David Hon Shu Wing of the Professional Company in Wan Chai said, “Eighty percent of our clients are under 40. They are mostly nurses, doctors, teachers, engineers and business people.” Females register in larger proportions than males. Miss Siu Siu Man, a managing director of the Fortunate Company in Tsim Sha Tsui, said, “Because the ‘golden age’ for women is shorter than men’s, women exhibit more concern towards marriage affairs.” Besides, most of the matchmakers agree that the tendency of local men to find partners from the Mainland also causes the unbalanced sex ratio of the clients. The following three are the most common three reasons why people seeking help from these agencies:
• Narrow scope of one’s social life; • A wish to find partners outside one’s career field; • Loneliness and bitterness after a broken romance.In Hong Kong, the marriage bureaus mainly provide two kinds of services for lonely hearts. The traditional one is direct-matching service. This kind of service matches clients together according to their particular requirements on age, education level, height, and income through computerized system. Clients using this kind of service can have a look at prospective partners’ photos before an actual date. Mr. Hon and Miss Siu both said male clients seek beautiful partners, while women seek wealthy ones. In recent years, because of the political instability in Hong Kong, people with overseas passports have been viewed as having higher merit than their local counterparts. Another type of service includes a variety of indoor and outdoor activities for their members to participate in regularly. Through trips, buffets, karaoke and ball games, lovers are provided with chances to pair up. Registration fees at marriage bureaus in Hong Kong usually range from $100 to $400. However, additional fees for activities or face-to-face meetings usually add a few hundred dollars more to the basic registration fees.
|
