December 1998 Listen to What I SayThe resilient Karen Mok Man WaiBy Christine Au
22/10/98
Sunny and warm
Today at 4:30 p.m., I met with two Chinese University students.
Once I sat down, they asked me a warming-up question: "Why are you willing to do an
interview with us?"
My mind immediately flashed back to the time when I was still a
secondary school student, making the school newspaper. A friend of mine managed to get an
interview with Jacky Cheung. It was great seeing the story finally being published.
Everyone has been a student before and I am just doing what Jacky had done. Therefore,
without hesitation, I responded, "Why not?"
Talking about my secondary school, I haven't been back there for
quite a while. The last time should be in 1993, just after the release of my first album
"Karen". I was invited to be the adjudicator of a singing contest. That was fun!
It was a special experience to be educated at Diocesan Girls?
School, a convent school with strict rules and exceedingly high expectations of its
students. All of us were cultivated to do the best we could. Competition was keen and
pressure was great. However, after getting used to it, I actually looked forward to going
to school.
It is said that a Gemini loves to learn. I don't know if it's
true but I myself do have a wide range of interests -- languages, music, drama, literature
and dance. It is fortunate that my school did provide an environment that encourages such
explorations.
I am a curious, or frankly, a nosy person who has to try everything
possible. When I was a student, my schedule was so packed with activities that it would be
very rare if I went home right after school. I was then trained to be efficient, grasping
every minute to accomplish all my tasks. Looking back, I think young people should really
take chances to venture, when they can still afford it.
In the eyes of many, I am among the avant-garde who is always ahead
of the others. Nevertheless, I did not intend to create such an image for myself. What I
always want is to be different, straying away from the mainstream, it's just that.
Remember the time when every little girl was crazy about learning
ballet? I chose Chinese dance; when Chinese orchestra was not so fashionable, I was already
learning guzheng; when most students applied for the United World College in Wales, I opted
for the Italian one.
I still remember how agitated I was when I was notified that I
could go to Italy on my own. Throughout the two years of college life, I didn't even have
one moment feeling lonely, not to mention homesickness.
"If you can earn yourself a full scholarship, go ahead," Dad and
Mum said. They have invariably been so supportive and will always be. Karen, you should not
take their love for granted anymore!
Actually, I miss Italy. I fell in love with that marvellous place
right after the first visit. Its language, Italian, is also my favourite among all that I
know. It is so expressive. There is a saying that if you tie up the hands and legs of an
Italian, he or she will not be able to talk.
Majoring in the literature of this foreign language was actually
difficult and risky. Yet literature has always been my type. Many of Shakespeare's
masterpieces have accompanied my growth.
When studying at London University, watching plays and musicals
became my major leisure activities. These experiences further consolidated my determination
to devote myself to performing arts. Therefore, I never regret taking a year off to promote
my debut album, I even gave up a role in "Miss Saigon", and the response of that album was
not as desirable as expected.
I once hosted a TVB show called 'Sunday Music Magazine" be Courtesy
of Rock Records before I went back to the UK. It was a minute production and my roles there
were mostly laughable. Anyhow, it helped "Karen Mok" to make an impression on many people.
Therefore, no matter how silly it seemed, I still think it has some kind of value. On
Broadway, what an Oriental can do is very limited, either "Miss Saigon" or "The King and
I". More opportunities would be available here.
Counting from 1994, I have shot altogether 17 films, including
"A Chinese Odyssey", "Kitchen", "Viva Erotica", "The God of Cookery", "Lawyer Lawyer" and
of course "Fallen Angels" which brought me two Best Supporting Actress awards. After joining
Rock Records, I have issued three albums, namely "The Whole Body of Karen Mok", "To be" and
"I Say". Hmm...not bad at all!
Seldom in my career do I need to force myself into doing something
I dislike. Why? I am here not because of vanity. Money is something I dare to say no to.
Shooting a film is not so cushy as it seems, and I won't tire myself out by doing something
I despise. In one sense, my education background is an advantage to my career. At least I
can convince people that I do have alternatives and really take pleasure in being at the
place where I am.
Oh! I nearly forgot to take down a piece of good news: "You were
voted by Her World magazine as one of the 20 most beautiful women and woman of Asia with
the 'Phwooar' factor by Internet surfers," said one of the students interviewing me. I was
caught in total surprise. "Really?" I kept on asking.
In fact, I didn't have much awareness of my own appearance when I
grew up. I was tan and thin with a boyish hairstyle. Far away from any perception of beauty,
right?
In my dictionary, the prerequisite of being sexy is self-confidence.
Once I am on stage, I will be inspired to do all kinds of movement. That might be sexy... I
don't know. Everything is spontaneous and I don't consciously act them out. Anyway, I
those who gave me such high regard.
Every singer would like their audience to focus on their music, so
do I. Hey, when did I realize that I have the ability to sing beautifully? It should be after
the release of my first Mandarin album, "To be". Although Putonghua is not my mother tongue,
it is a language suitable for singing. The overwhelmingly positive reaction gave my
self-confidence a strong boost.
I listen to all kinds of music, but jazz is the one I crave to do.
Ella Fitzgerald might have exerted her influence, but jazz music itself is alluring. With
the use of improvisations, fantastic live performances can be made. Just a week ago, I had
a chance to sing in an AIDS Concern Concert at the former Governor's House. We formed our own band
and sang a few jazz numbers. Nobody could imagine how high and excited I was.
"Love yourself every way. Feeling good that's your natural right."
I wrote this in the song "Love Yourself" and it is also my present living motto. No matter
how encouraging and supportive people around you are, it is futile unless you cherish
yourself.
Reviewing the lyrics I wrote, no wonder people find me tough or
even harsh. In "I say" I wrote, "I see no reason for regrets or dismay. What I say I never
say it in an ordinary fashion...I'll lay down my rules before you turn away and I swear I
dare." This is my firm belief that modern women should have such an independent attitude.
Just like Alanis Morisette, she is such a talented musician with a
wonderful voice. Her music is kind of alternative, but the mass still likes it. She does her
own things on stage, without caring much for the audience. In spite of that, spectators don't
feel offended and still enjoy the show.
Having the same achievements as any successful musician is not my
goal. As long as I enjoy doing my work, I will continue. At present, I wish to sustain my
success in the Taiwan market. No matter how top you are in Hong Kong, it doesn't really
mean that much if you can't conquer the huge Mandarin market. I don't mean to overshadow the
potential of the local market, the two can indeed go hand in hand I guess.
Oops, it's getting late now, that should be enough for today. Ah
wait, there was a question in the interview that I have not thought about before: "Among
the five languages you know, are there any words you find melodic?" Hmm...a thing worth
pondering about in tonight's dream!
Karen
Note: This is a diary written by Varsity staff based on an
interview with Ms Karen Mok.
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