Like repels and unlike attracts is an eternal truth.
However, homosexuals upset this law of nature because of their special sex orientation.
Though mass media often distort the images of homosexuals, people whose sex orientation deviates from the main stream's can be healthy and positive indeed.
Connie is a case in point. She has family support, a healthy lifestyle and she contributes much to the lesbian community.
Connie, 26, is the chairperson of Lui Tung Yuen which is a self-help group for lesbians in Hong Kong.
She studied in coeducational schools for many years. And she did not receive any education about homosexuality. Therefore, she didn't realize that she was a lesbian until she was in form five.
However, her long-hidden secret was exposed to her mother three years ago when Connie broke up with her ex-girlfriend, who told her mother the truth.
"My mother was shocked and I did not know what to do. A week later, I went to Europe for a holiday and wrote a letter to my mother telling who my friends were and what we were doing. I also explained to her that I was leading a happy life and I knew how to prevent AIDS.
"I am glad that my mother accepted the fact gradually. One Christmas, she even asked my girlfriend to have dinner together. It was warm as my brother and his girlfriend also came," she said.
Most of Connie's friends are lesbians. She does not reveal her secret to her straight friends intentionally. However, she is willing to discuss homosexuality with them if some true friends ask her about it.
In her company, her boss also knows her secret, but she faces no repulsion. On the contrary, her good performance brings her praises from her boss.
In the eyes of many people, gays and lesbians always have causal sex and hang around in "gay lounges".
"Like me, I do not smoke nor go to gay lounges. My friends and I like healthy activities such as barbecuing and playing badminton. However, television programs distort our image so as to dramatize their stories,"she said.
Added she :" Of course, I dare not guarantee all lesbians lead such a healthy life."
Although the daily lives of homosexuals and straight people have no big differences, Hong Kong society still repels them. Therefore, homosexual people cannot get married and have their families.
Connie strongly opposes this.
Said she:"I pay tax, just like other Hong Kong citizens. Therefore, I should have the right to enjoy marriage though it is a ceremony only.
"However, if my girlfriend and I want to have a family one day, we will leave for San Francisco. It is because the current custom and culture in Hong Kong is not ready for homosexuals. The environment will impose adverse effects on our children. My child may not be able to explain why she or he has two mothers. In San Francisco, there is a community for lesbians and gay people," she said.
In Hong Kong, gay men are much luckier than lesbians. There are many organizations and recreational facilities such as lounges and bookstores which serve gay people only.
Indeed, some lesbians in Hong Kong have low self-esteem and feel lonely as they lack support.
In order to help these lesbians, Connie and six of her friends set up a self-help group called Lui Tung Yuen in 1996.
"I have been a helper in The Hong Kong Ten Percent Club for many years and I would like to apply what I have learnt to help the minority group.
"I hope that our group can provide concern, support and courage for members. Our group organizes many workshops and sharing groups to solve their emotional problems and teach them some ways to understand themselves better and tell relatives their secret.
"Moreover, the group holds some recreational activities like barbecues and trips to Taiwan. We have our own badminton team and basketball team too,"she said.
However, keeping Lui Tung Yuen in smooth operation is not an easy task. There is little fund provided for the organization and the government seldom conveys the message "not to discriminate against lesbians and gay people".
Connie is not confident in fighting for more funds from the government because of the economic downturn. Many social welfare measures are cut.
Therefore, Connie hopes to recruit more voluntary workers, so the group can provide more activities for members to share their feelings.
" I will not give up even though many difficulties are emerging because it is very difficult to find your loved ones in life," she concluded.
