January 1999

Pleasure from sex

Pressure from sex

By Linda Leung

    Ah On, a 28-year-old worker in a container terminal who requested his full name to be withheld, has been visiting nightclubs in Hong Kong and Shenzhen with his friends once or twice every month over the past three years. At present, he usually goes to nightclubs in Mong Kok and Tsim Sha Tsui, spending about $1000 every time.

    Although he admitted that visiting nightclubs is a way to gratify his sexual needs, he has never had sexual intercourse with any of the prostitutes as he still thinks that sex should be based on love.

    "I just drink wine, ‘chai-mui’, sing karaoke and chat with them," said he.

    Paul, who does not want his real name to be disclosed, is a 20 year-old local university student who started visiting nightclubs two years ago. He also goes to sauna and body massage centres but has never had sex with women there.

    "I just want to widen my horizons and relax myself," said he.

    Joe, who also declined to reveal his real name, is now a Year 2 diploma student studying in a local technical institute. He had sexual intercourse with a prostitute in Guangzhou when he was there last summer.

    "I did not think of any consequences at that time," said he, "but after that, I worried that I would get sexually transmitted diseases, although I had taken contraceptive measures."

    Professor Ng Man-lun of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Hong Kong is a prominent local psychiatrist. He is also the vice-president of the Hong Kong Sex Education Association.

    He attributed youngsters visiting prostitutes and having 'one night stand' to the need for obtaining sexual satisfaction.

    Said Profesor Ng: "Nowadays, young people have to postpone marriage later and later before they can shoulder the responsibility of having a constant partner."

    He thinks that most people who stereotype visitors of prostitutes as "immoral, bad, evil or sexually abusive" overlook the actual needs of these people.

    On the other hand, Dr. Cheng Yew-meng, assistant professor of the Department of Sociology of the Hong Kong Baptist University, said that prostitutes do perform significant social functions as they help those who want to seek pleasure but have difficulties in forming relationships with the opposite sex.

    For example, Ah On finds it too difficult to meet girls as he works on shift duties in a male-dominated environment. He is also not confident in his appearance. Believing that he could never find a steady girlfriend in his work environment, he resorts to prostitues.

    Said Professor Ng: "People who have prejudice about prostitution are depriving the right to have sex from those who are unable to get married, just like well-fed people trying to forbid the poor to take left-over food.

    Although sex is a basic physiological need and human instinct, visitors to prostitution outlets often feel shy and guilty.

    "I deceive my parents because they are not open-minded enough," said Paul, "they will probably scold me."

    Ah On also lied to his ex-girlfriend about his behavior. Said he: "I felt guilty because I betrayed her."

    Joe insisted that he would never do it again: "When I was aware that I have paid for sex, I found myself very ‘cheap’ and dirty."

    For men, visiting prostitutes is the most direct and the quickest way to have sexual release. It is less common for women to do so as they have other alternatives.

    Said Dr. Cheung: "Women can share problems and desires among themselves. They touch each other more frequently than men do, which gives the feeling of comfort and intimacy.

    "People also find it easier to talk to prostitutes," he added, "they do not have to be emotionally attached with the prostitutes. Unlike being with friends, there is no need to worry about hurting others emotionally.

    With enough money, visitors can negotiate what kind of services they want. That means they are generally in control of the deal."

    Said Ah On: "Prostitutes are just like ordinary people. Interpersonal relationships in nightclubs are simpler than that in my workplace."

    "I don’t want to make any moral judgement about these behaviors," said Dr. Cheung, "It all depends on your own perception. If you think that hurting somebody emotionally through ‘one night stands’ is wrong, and that prostitution is a better substitute, then it is no longer an immoral matter."