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The rising age of marriage
Late marriage lowers the chance of divorce and gives couples more time to understand each other and save money before having children
in 2001, women in Hong Kong got married for the first time at the age of 27.5 on average. (Tse Ting Ting)
By Alice Leung
According to the Census and Statistics Department, in 2001 women in Hong Kong got married for the first time at the age of 27.5 on average, nearly four years later than 20 years ago.
Sze (not her real name), a tutor, is going to get married in January 2004 at the age of 35.
“I consider myself physiologically late-married, but I think this is the right time for me.
“I am now emotionally and psychologically mature enough to take care of my husband and our future children and solve any problems or crises we will encounter later in our family life,” said she.
Prof. Maria Tam Siu Mi is an associate professor in the Department of Anthropology at The Chinese University of Hong Kong. She said there is no definition for “late marriage”.
Said Prof. Tam: “A standard marital age does not exist.
“The so-called optimal marital age is culturally relative.
“Different societies have their own marital ages, so it is hard to define a certain age attributing to late marriage.
“It is a social norm, meaning most people in society would like to get married around that certain age.”
On the other hand, Prof. Tam gave an explanation for late marriage.
Said she: “Women in Hong Kong no longer believe their marriages are decided by fate.
“In the past, women decided their partners by checking whether their birth time ‘matched’ theirs or not.
“Now, they use more scientific ways to decide if they can get along well with their Mr. Right.”
Prof. Tam gave two examples: Women go for DNA checkups to find out if they will bear a child with a birth defect or go for marriage consultation to ensure the couple is in good psychological condition to get married.
Late marriage has positive effects. It can help a couple lower the chance of getting divorce.
Prof. Ting Kwok Fai of the Department of Sociology at the Chinese University said, “By deciding to get married later, a couple can have more time to understand each other better.
“They can also earn enough money for a steady financial foundation for the family.”
Grace Ho, 33, of Mid-Levels, is a good example. She got married in 2002.
Said she: “I understand that I should spend more time to learn how to get along with different people before I get married.
“Marriage is not just a couple’s own business.”
Prof. Ting added that late-married mothers usually have more life experiences and higher education levels.
Thus, they usually understand their children’s needs better and use more liberal ways to solve problems.
“However, they may feel exhausted when playing with their children due to their physical limitations,” he said.
Kat Chan is a 29-year-old nurse working in Mong Kok. She has postponed her marriage for one or two years.
“My husband and I want to save more money for our future children,” she explained.
Nevertheless, Ms. Chan’s biggest worry is getting pregnant in her 30s or even later.
“It may pose a higher risk to the health of my children and myself.
“Also, I may not have enough energy to take care of them,” said she.
Students’ views on late-married women
Some university students think that late-married women have a long-term plan for their marriage.
By Alice Leung
When asked to define late-married women, Janice Li Wai Man, a Year 2 student of the Faculty of Education at The University of Hong Kong, said that late-married women have a long-term plan for their marriage.
Though they might have already had a stable partner, they are still searching for Mr. Right. They are serious about their marriages.
Miaka Mak Hoi Yi, a Year 1 student in The Nethersole School of Nursing at The Chinese University of Hong Kong, said that late-married women are bound by many limitations to have their marriages late .
Actresses are good examples. They often make contracts with their companies at their marital age, forbidding them to get married before a specific age.
In addition, Crystal Chung Man Yee, a Year 1 student in the Department of Chemistry at the Chinese University, said that late-married women are just like other married women, who are able to find a man who is willing to take care of them for the rest of their lives.