Divorce

Ending a problematic marriage

Child-parents relationships are a challenging post-divorce problem. (Ada Shum)

By Ada Shum

According to statistics from the Family Court, the divorce rate in Hong Kong has risen from 0.53 percent in 1981 to 2.39 percent in 2002.

Another statistic shows that the number of annual divorce petitions has increased from 2,060 to 16,839 since 1981.

Lau Yuk King, an associate professor in the Department of Social Work at The Chinese University of Hong Kong, said, “The number of divorce petitions is significant when we compare it with the number of marriages.

“The increase is troubling.”

The causes of the increasing divorce rate can be attributed to legal reforms in Hong Kong’s divorce law since the ’70s.

According to Prof. Ting Kwok Fai of the Department of Sociology at the Chinese University, the first set of divorce laws only allowed divorce under the condition of serious misconduct, such as adultery.

In the ’80s, the divorce law was amended. It permitted divorce under the mutual consent between the two parties, even without any specific misconduct.

According to the Basic Law, petitions for divorce from either of the parties in the marriage can be accepted.

The requirement they must fulfill is to live apart for a continuous period of at least two years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition.

On the other hand, due in part to an increasing sense of individualism in Hong Kong, there is a growing acceptance of divorce by the public.

Said Prof. Ting: “Marriage is regarded as a matter between husband and wife, instead of between two families.”

Helena (not her real name), 46, received a divorce petition from her husband in 1997.

Said she: “I found him with a mistress in 1990. Although very much disappointed by my ex-husband, I did not initiate a divorce petition because I needed to maintain economic conditions for myself and my two children.

“For seven years, I desperately escaped the truth by spending all my time hanging out with friends. I lived in a fantasy of my own creation.”

Her relationship with her children, however, deteriorated during the seven years.

Said she: “The children reminded me of my unhappiness. We lacked communication and understanding.”

The unhealthy condition of the family continued until her ex-husband executed a divorce petition.

“From then on, I was disillusioned; escaping from problems is not the solution,” Helena said.

She has focused on her family more since the divorce. She has given all her love and care to her children.

“I got frustrated sometimes. My children had already gotten used to life on their own. It was difficult to reenter into their world.

“Moreover, the financial burden borne by my husband before the divorce has shifted to me. Worries and difficulties always arise.”

Divorce brings tremendous sadness to couples if it is not managed well. Therefore, divorce education is advocated.

Said Prof. Lau: “Divorce education teaches divorced couples the right way to deal with the problems.”

Many organizations such as the Hong Kong Family Planning Association have offered services to deal with post-divorce problems.

Prof. Lau continued, “We recognize the merits of divorce education.

“However, we advise couples to consider the consequences seriously before ending their marriage.

“Prevention is more desirable than treatment after problems arise.”

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